Newspapers / The Danbury Reporter (Danbury, … / Feb. 16, 1882, edition 1 / Page 1
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VOLUME VI. TM ri*lU I riiMiut. Aroaud the ON UIM wintry night, Tlie farmer'» rosy children sat; The lent its blazing light, And mirth went round, and harmless chat. When liark ! a gentle liand they hear Low tapping at the bolted uoor r And thus again their willing ear, A feeble voice was heard implore: Cold blowa the blast across the inour, The sleet driven hissing in the wiud; Ton toilsome mountain lir»betojc, A dreary treoteas waste liehiud. Xfy eyes are dim and weak with age: No road, no path can 1 decry : And tiiese poor r.igs ill stand tko rage Of sneli a keen inclement sky. "tip faint I am these tnttarlng t'ei Nu more my julucd t'raiau can bear, My fr»e*tng he*rt foryats t» beat, And driniug luo.m 105- tutuh prepare. Open vour hotpitable door, And shield me from the biting blast, Cold, cold it blows irnw the tunor. The weary moor that I have passed t" With hasty ste|w the farmer ran, And close beside the rtre they place The poor half frozen begi/ar-uian, Willi shaking lii.ila and pale blue face. The UMte children flocking ratue. And ehateil llfs frozen hands in theirs, And busily the nxl nld daine A coiofortable tics* prepares. Their kiud»e-V! dieered his drooping soul, And sl«*ly df'wn Ills wrinkled (Hiuek, The big round tear was seen to roll. And teld ilie thank* lie could put speak. The children then began to »it;h. And all tlwlr nr> ry cliat .was o'er, And y«t knew littt why, More glad 'kau they had done before. One Woman's Way. BY ROi,TII IIOI'tiLAB. It wm New Year's night. A hand aoine parlor in a handsome house; a cheery, eoey fire in the Miming nickle barred grato > • gentle moon-like light from the softly shaded ga«, ami through >ll the room a dainty breath of fresh Bower* and a soft pleasant air of ele gance and wealth. In a large eatqr-chair near the glowing grate sat a man; a haudsouic man, fit inmate of the handsome room, a uiau of Middle age alid uxiat comfortable appear- , •nee ; a smiling, serene gentleman, well fed and well clothed. He was watching with a food, happy smile, a woman stand ing in the long, charmiugly curtained window. She was rather a tall woman, neither stoot nor slim— -a happy medi um. Aad she was nicely—elegantly habited in a blue satin robe with an abun dance of fine, creamy silk lace about | ler. One ihapely band hold back the rich ' amber-colorcd silk curtain, and tho loose shortish sleeve fell back revealing a beau tiful plump pinky arm. Hhe too, was handsome, with n serene, j pal* face, very brown, beautiful, sober •yes, and a sweet, serious red mouth. A sensible looking woman, too, des pite h*r stylish fashionable air ! Outside tbe snow was whirling in a fleecy blinding cloud. The street lamps made squares and streaks of golden light through the mis ty, whitish night, thus making the dark ness that surrounded all things else sucui denser and doqper. Aud the soft warmth and subdued light und the general air of ! comfort aud refinement seemed to sweep iu a great gu»h past iny lady out into ( the ipowy frosty night. "Amy dear, drop the curtain and oonie sit with me ; aren't you weary enough to ; rest after >ll «i-d»y's exert IOU V You recognised the lover by the ten- ' tferness in his ttucs, by tLe fond light in hi* kind blue eyes. "Directly dear," but still she held aside the curtain and stood staring into ' the night. It had been a wearisome day. From early till late alio had been loving and smiling, giving and taking good I wishes, hiding hor weariness und play- | ing cordiality ; for this wan the last time that Miss Amy Gordon was to keep open house, you know. Long before next Mew Year she would l>e Mrs. Alfrud Arnold. "My dear Amy, come ; you make me aervous'" Slowly a* if icgretfully sho shut out, the snowy scene and crossed to the grate. 1 She stood besido her lover'j ehair, pass- : rd her arm over his sliouldors and rested her obeek on his gold oolored eurly head. "Dearest," be whiapered and lifted her hand softly Ui hi» lip*. "Dearest, this in to be such a happy New Year to ua is it not!' Her only answer was the gentle stroke of her oheek on his head. Saeh a happy New Year! who could tell! so many traaling, loving women had ventured on this wilinff, pe.aoe prouiisiog sea of matrimony and had been j so sadly swamped and wrecked before ail month* at »• a even, how eouhl *'ie •ell if this .Vow Year would prove of or sorrow to lief | iiwt 'twas not wholly on matrimony her thoughts were intent, j "Alf, I don't deserve any extra hap piness ' what have I done pray for the | world, that I shall clasp my hands idly J and bask iu the purple of God's love 1 Nay, don't iuterrupt me, doar.yott don't understand me! 1 have becu all day long, yes all this busy day, oppressed with the thought that I am going for ward to enter into & joy aud bliss that is not mine! The great rule of this universe is— well—the laborer is worthy of his hire you know I Justice, not generosity, governs the world. I havo given no equivalent, of good nor grief, that entitles 1110 to this rich reward of wealth, and better yet, your love dear ! And 1 am an honest woman and con scientious and until I have a right to all this joy and gladness, until 1 have earn ed it. Uutil 1 deserve this reward, I am only an iuiposter If I aceopt it. "Da you understand me, Alf!" Miss Gordon had drawn a low luxuri ous comfortable ehair beside her lover and »ne white beautiful hand rested on the arm of his chair, lie clasped this baud in both of his aud his blue eyes grew dark and eager. "Amy, I do not undetstand you, and kuowing your impulsive determined na tire as well as 1 do, such remarks make me very nervous, to say the least; and before you 50 further, dear, lot me sug gest that you 'go slow' as well! "Amy mine, let us be very careful what is said to-night! Remember it is New Year's night, and the New Year means so much to us, dearest! "Aud my Amy—l fear jou arc iu a mistakenly conscientious mood to-night. All these things that make you happy are giveu you from God, you cannot earn them. "My love could not be made a reward dear; God has just made it so: we givu our affection to each other as the sun gives its shine, its warmth and life to the earth. "1 can never deserve your sweet love, Amy. God gives it aud I accept tbe blessing, thankfully ; the suu shines aud the earth receives the geuial iuliucuce aud is happy, that is all. Has the earth u light to that light aud life ! these hap py, lovely things are all gifts from God, wo cannot buy them, dear!" Not once hud the wido, brown, anxi ous eyes moved from his fueo. "No, uo, Alf, you do not comprehend me. Ido not mean to reward God, why that is blasphemy! 1 would buy the right to my joy, but I would feel iu my heart that 1 deserved it. Take your own thought; the sun spreads the earth with golden warmth and splendor ; docs the earth remain a cold aud senseless clod ! indeed no ! Rather dees she not blossom forth iu beauty and usefulness from her gratitude aud gladuess .' She does what she can toward beautifying life and being useful aud serviceable, it is because sho makes good use of her gifts, Alf, that Madam Earth deserves them!" "And how doe* that apply to my Amy V' Miss Gordon rested her lione&t brown head against her lover's arm aud replied slowly as if bringing each sentence from some deep mine of thought. 1 have good and gracious gifts too Alf, and 1 have been idle and heedless. lJut to-day 1 have wakened. All day a» I have been smiling aud sipping aud uibbling with all tbe men who have call ed, tho still small voice has been busily at work. 1 have wealth that ia doing no one any good. It does mo no good, for it is not good that I should be robed in all that money aud fashion can furnish, while in all this city there arc hundreds of my sisters shivci iug with cold this uight. Aye, Alfred, they and their little oues freezing and starving, while I—one worthless woman, am fed and warm and wasteful, sole mistress of half a million, happy as God can make mo and doing nothing for the many miserable! Ah, Alf, God will call me to a bitter account yet, I fear for iny wasted oppor tunities. and from this night forth 1 must do difforcntly; 1 must be of more ser vice in tho world. Better for me had I to-day in place of pleasure, silk and pearls, been in serge and tbe streots, hunting the poor, the sick and disconso late and given them of my p'onty, And Alfred, my mind is made. 1 will be a helpful servant in the vineyard. To-night as I stood there in the win dow and watched the whirling snow, and thought of the poor, and sinning aud starred out there. It seemed as if each flake *aid—"Amy Gordon, we are cold aud white aud heartless, but we arc of more value than you are, for we arc ohfcrlcsH and icy to look on and bring misery *o 11.my, we «i o . til', j DANBUIIY, N. C„ TIHTRSDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 1882, the earth aad life for the coming summer i season ; we do not waste the good that is in us, we do the best we can with the gifts of good we havo. And the very gaslights seemed to rebuke me, saying : 'We even send as far as possible such ■ gold and light and cheer us we have.' Alfred, perhaps you understand uie and will aid ine He lifted the flushed earnest face in I h» hands and kissed the shining earnest | eyes. "My noble love! I am yoursdc?oted -1 ly and faithfully in ali things." And this royal couple, these noble lov | crs sat until midnight, the mystic hour when tiie uncertain, tin tired int'aut New j Year bows for the blessing of the worn old, weary, heavy lndeii monarch that departs as ho lifts his hand to warn or bless; sat there studying and planning how to help and be of service to the sad, sick and sinful. Midnight und morning kissed iu sweat greeting as our lovers parted and Miss Gordon began her New Y'ear as all true worthy women should, with a joyous de termination to be helpful and a blessing to her poor unfortunate sisters iu life. Some of her fashionable friends sho managed to stir into activity with her, others gave their blessing and sneers. Sho went out to be a saviour and helper ai:d she succeeded. Many a bright boy and generous girl crme undor the genial influence of her kindness and generosity. Alfred Arno.d walked hand in hand with her through all her noble efforts and to gether they accomplished much good in life. Children were removed from evil influences and given education, supplied with pure homes and health giving in fluences ; and these grateful children are bound in return to lend a helping hand to the unfortunate through all their com ing years. Notice how the eireles in crease and render, beyond belief almost when you idly toss a tiny pebble in a stream. Much more 1 extensive is the ! boundless sea of humanity. Many a sick woman roceived the means and hope and heart necessary to lies' recovery from Amy Gordon in that grand New Y'ear of Miss G's life and iuany an uncertain, weakening -aster was helped to a point and hopes that Saved her from the sad fall of wrunauly sinning. And oven 111011 received a helpful impetus from the ear nest honest little woman. .She gladly put aside her satins, her pleasures aud pearls and never shirked the streets and the serge : and having ventured into the vineyard she was amazed to find how many brave and noble she found there earnestly working for Christ and charity. And when, *ome six months later, she I stood again for anotlie; evening in pearls and satin—white satin this time—she felt secure and happy iu the ri b -ht to re joice "iu the purple of God's love" and Alfred Arnold felt there wai no nobler woman in all the land than his fair wile. I And the good work that began in her ! heart as sho stood in her window to sur- ; vey the snow storm went on through life thereafter. Alfred and Amy Arnold nover failed to remember the night when they wak ened from laziness and luxury to labor, lovt and usefulness. (>o oil-Morning. Don't forgot to say "Good-morning " Say it to your parents, brothers and sis ters, your school-mates, your teachers— and say it choerfully, and with a smile , it will do yon good, and do your friends good. There's a kind inspiration 111 ev ery "Good-tnorning" heartily spoken, that helps to make hope fresher and work lighter. It scorns really to make the morning good, aud to be a prophecy of a good day to come after it. And if this bo true of the "good morning," it is al*o of kind, heart some greetings; they cheer the discouraged, rest the tired one, some how make tbe wheels of life run more smoothly. Do liberal with them then, aud let no morning pass, however dark and gloomy it may be, that you do not help at least to brighten by your smiles and cheerful word. Tbe Beauty of Reproach. Goethe was in company with a moth er and her daughter, and the latter being reproved for seme fault, blushed and burst into tears, lie said: "How beautiful your reproach has made your daughter. The crimson hue, und those silvory tears become her better than any ornament of gold or pearls. These may bo hung on the neck Jt any woman ; but those are never seen disconnected with moral purity. A full blown rose be sprinkled with the purest dew is uot so beautiful as this child blushing beneath her parent's displeasure, and shedding tears of sorrow at her fault. A blush ii the sign which nature hangs out to »!.,« wh.-rc I'L.i.Mi ) aud honor .will." Warklng the Presttt. "Arc you the editor ?" said a man, wild wor« u conciliator smile and dvi ! beard, as lie took a sii'.t in our office. We acknowledged tJ.ut at present wo served and instructed lis public in tnut capacity, and to prove >ur assertion, wo showed him the blisters made on our bunds by our excrlim iu operating tho Arehiuiedcau lever '-at moves the world. "'.Ve 1, I want yoi to surprise mo with a flattering personal nntice iu your paper. I u:u going to run for Constable iu the Eighth ward, ai 1 I want some thing neat in the way if a send off." "Our columns are nivnys open to ad vance the best f the pu! lie, bui w all expect yi- 'c first iurpJßi u.i wiui .1 pecuniary c mpensution, not necessarily for publics ion, but merely us a pledge of good fa'ta." "I'll pay. A man -.an'! expect to bo surprised without pay.ng for it in ad vance. \VI '.ave y u got ?" "Wo can accoumuKUte you with al most any kind of pergonal notice, from a cheap electro-plated biography to an eighteen carat obituar., and at a get. • of prices varying according to the strain on our columns and vsraeity. In moul ding public opinion w. defy competition. Now, how would you like this ? It is a neat little pre-Ruphtnite geui, and will cost you ouly $1.50. "Our enterprisiug townsman, Col. 1!.. Hum whom there is nc more popular and genial gentleman i-i the length and breadth of our great Empire State, has consented, at tho ear-test solicitation of many friends, to aacriiioo his very prof itable business to tha public good, and has authorized us to announce him as a candidate fur the i.onorable office of Constable of the precinct.'' "If that is not strung enough, here is a Michael Angolo, full length, in which your qualities of ho»d i.nd heart will be touohingly alluded to, nnd you will be commended for your generous impulses —only 5" each instrtion. Then wc hive a brilliant thing, after Mozart, whish is really intcrtAo.l f>r gubornato rial nf your sim plicity of character, jeans clothes, and pay-as-yoH-go proclivities—but it ean easily be modified to suit a prospective Constable. It v. 'I cost you $3. There are several others t'r $;! to $lO each. For referriug to you ~i an 'old land mark,' $1 extra is charged. "1 reckon you can saw me off s:i worth, but you must throw in something about my brilliant war record." "We always do that." "And just wind up by Capt. Hill Smiko. lie is running against me. 1 wouldn't say anything that lie might take offence at. Only say he is not fit (or tho office, because be has a mean breath liko a buzzard, and the re. cor lof a convict. You might add that my brother hasn't got a wife that has fits. That will bit him where he is sore, for his brother's wifo is subject to fits. I don't care to lug any personalities in to this canipuigu unless I am obliged to." "Wo can't do it, Colonel. Your rival is : personal friend. lie is u sub scriber." "Pshaw! I thought you were running an iudependent paper, in the interest of tho people, but I see you arc the subsi dized orgin of a political clique," and off he w to see the editor of the oth er paper. ttig W.f.r«N. Rig words are great favorites with people of small ideas ami weak con ceptions. They arc sometimes em ployed by men of mind, when they wish to use language that may the best con ceal their thoughts. With few excep tions, however, illiterate and half educat ed persons use muro "big words" than people of thorough education. It is a very common, but egregious mistake, to snpposo that tho long words are more genteel than the short oncti--just as the suiuc sort of people imagine that high colors and flashy fig-ire* improve tho style of dress. They are the kind of folks who don't begin, but commenoe.'' They don't live, but "reside." They don't go to bed, but mysteriously "retire,' They don't cat and drink, but "partake" of "refreshments." Thoy are never sick, but"extremely indisposed and instead of dying, at last, thoy "decease." The strength of the English language is in the short words— chioflv monosyllables of Saxon derivation ; anil people who are in e.iruest seldoai use uny other. Love, hate, anger, grief and joy express them selves in short words and direct sentences, whilo cunning, falsehood and affectation delight in v. >rds ''a foot and a liulf' loii^. Some New Geography. "Of what is the surface of the earth composed!" "Of corner lots, mighty poor roads, railroads trucks, huso ball grounds, crick et fields am! skating rinks." "\S hat portion of tho globe is wa ter 1" "About three-fourths. Sometimes tliey add a little gin and nutmeg U it." "What is a town V' " A town is a considerable collection of houses and inhabitants, with four or five men who "run the party" and lend i money at fifteen per cent, interest." ; "What is a city ?" "A city is an incorporated town, with a mayor wbu be'.von t'.at the whole world shakes when he happens to fall flat oil a , cross-walk." "What is commerce !" "Borrowing $5 for a day or two and ! dodging the lender for a year or two." » "Name the different races." "Horse ruco, boat race, bicycle race 1 I and racing around io a muu to imlursc your note." "Into how many classes is mankind divided ?" "Six; being enlightened, civiliaeil. : halfcivilized savbge too utter, not-wortb a-eent and Indian agents." "What uatious are called enlighten -1 ed 1" 1 "Those which have had the most wars. I the worst laws, and produced the Worst I criminals." "How many motions has the earth !" i "That's according to how you mix \ 1 your drinks and which way you go ) home." j "What Is tho earth's axis "The lines passing between New York j and Chicago." "What cause day and night ?" "Day is caused by night getting tired j out. A ight is caused by every body tak ! ing the street-car and going home to ! supper." j "What is a map "A uiap is a drawing to show the ju ry where Smith stood when Jones gave : him a lift uuder the eye." "What is a mariner's compass !" "A Jug holding four gallons." Encouragement | An amusing story is told of a little! ; fellow named Artie, one of three brothers j I whose parents had brought them up to ! | bo brave aud self-reliant, lie coulddn't I do much, but what he could do did with ! all his might. i And as their parents were Methodists of the good, old-fashioued kind, the boys i were in the habit of hearing—at such times —the hearty "Aineu" break forth from their father's lips when the sermon I was particularly eujuyable. One cold Sabbath day these children wers left at home, with many cautious i to be careful. 1 Hardly had the parents left ere the wood work near tho stovepipe was dis covered to be on fire and out of the j ! children's reach; but, with wonderful j activity and energy, the eldest climbed ! 1 npon the table and put out tho flames. | When the father and mother returned they shuddered to sec the dangur to j which their dear ones had boon exposed, and, with thankful hearts, praised theui for their courage. "llow did you manage, Tommic, to ; reach the fire 1" "Why, said Tomniio, "I pushed the | table up to the wall and got upon that." I "And did you help brother, Jiiumiet" I to the next. "Yes, sir ; I brought him a pail of 1 j water ami handed him the dipper." "And what did you do !" said the , proud £>thcr to his pet, the youngest of tbe group. "Well, papa." said Artie, "you see j I was too small to help put out the tire, 1 so 1 just stood by and hollered "Allicu." j You/A's Companion rut's I'lcdge. "Tim, this won't do; you must take | warning from the fate of your friend, ! O'Sbaughnessy. Only three nights ago ; he came home much soberer than you arc, but. in attempting to blow out a can dle his breath took fire and he exploded— blew up—so his friends in three days have not been a hid to scrape enough of liiui togother to hold a wake over." I "An' do you niauo to tell mc that he i bust up ?" said Tim. "Indeed 1 do, upon my honor." Tim said he would take the pledge at once, aud he did so in the following ; form : "1 swear never to blowout a can- , die while I am drunk again." Oxford TarcMight: Senator \ ai.tv presented some petitions against railroad discriminttions.— Ex. Let the Senator ; mend his 'holt,' aud call for help when I lie is ready, and the people will help Itiui. j Hai\iilii ii oiii Newspaper*. Many years ago, iu one of the severe j winters when there was much hardship among the poor, a city paper suggested that old newspapers, spread over the bed, would form an excellent substitute for blankets and coverlets. ThU brought upon the journal a great deal of harm less ridicule from other papers, but it : brought comfort to tuauy a poor family, lti the matter of bed-clothing, especi ally, we are apt to associate warmth rtith weight, atid do not consider that ! there is uo warmth iu the coverings j themselves, but that they merely pre- 1 vent the beat of the body from pf>ssinp | off. Whatever is a poor conductor of heat will make a warm covering, l'apcr I itself is a poor but still | poorer are the thin layers of air thai l j arc confined when two or three newspa ! pcrs are luid upon one another. A few • newspapers laid over the bed will keep j one much warmer than some of the I heavy, close-woven blankets. We do not propose newspapers as a substitute for blankets and comforters, but it is one of those makeshifts tliat it is well to know. In traveling one may, by the aid of a few papers, secure a comfort able rest in a thinly clad bed, and if we cannot afford to give a destitute family a blanket or a comforter, we may show j them how to increase tho usefulness of their thin coverings by stitcling a few layers of newspapers between them. It ' ! may be well to remind thr.se who grow ' 1 window j,hints, thut by removing then: j away from the window, aud arranging n cover of newspaper over them, they be preserved from harm in severely | cold nights. With the plants as willi j ourselves, it is not so much that cold eomes in, as that the heat goes off, and j often a slight protection will prevent the ! escape of heat. Home, Wife, aad Saturday. Happy is the man who has a little hauie and a little angel in it 011 Saturday night—a house, no matter how little, provided it will hold two or so—no mat ter how humbly furnished, provided tliero : i I iu it. Let t.. ■ ,'ods blow | —•1 .->o tho curtains. What if they are ' | plaiu calico, without border, tassel or - j any such thing. Let the rain come I j down, heap up tho fire. No matter if j you haven't a candle to bless yourself j j with, for what a beautiful light glowing | j coals i :.!::! Rendering cloudless, shed ding ?. :uuset light through the room, just light enough to talk by ; uot loud? as in the highway; uot rapid as in tho hurrying world ; but softly whispering with pause between,for the storm with out and the thoughts within to fill up with. Then wheel the sofa around by tbe fire ; no matter if the sofa is a set tee, uucushioned at that, if so bo it is ; just long enough for two and a half in | it. How sweetly the music of silver I 1 bells for the tiiuc to come falls ou the | j listening heart then ' How mournfully [ | swell the chimes of "the days that are j uo more!" Sermon Enoii|li fer fiunday. A little s'-.oe-black called at the J residenctt of a certain man, and solicited ' a piece of bread and some water. Tho | servant was directed to give the child j bread from the crumb-basket, and as the ! little fellow was walking slow ly away aud j sifting the gift between his fingers for 1. ! piece large enough to chew, the man I called him back and asked hiui if he bad j | ever learned to pray. On receiving a j uegative answer ho directed him to say, j '-Our Father," but ho could uot not j undcrstaud the familiarity. "Is it our father—your father—my j father ?" j "Why certainly." The hoy looked at him awhile and commenced crying, at the same time ! holding up his crust of bread and exclaiiu j ing between his sobs : "Y'ou say that your father is my fath- I er; aren't you ashamed to give your lit- | | tlo brother such stuff to eat when you ! j have got so many good things for your- I self." JOl i*j Nll CATTLE.— llob't Brodie tells 1 us of a method to reform breachy cattle, which is most likely new to many raders. Ho says he sold a cow and the buyer ; chose a good one, except that it was one that no fonco could restrain. Upon : being told the creature's fault the buyer ! still elung to his first choice, saying he could without trouble break the most j vicious case of this fault And ho proved ittruc. His method is to hang a weight, bv choice uu old flat : r. n, from tho crcat- I :ie s neck by a strap of such length that j it v i!! 'iing about the height of the creat ure's ki.e.oa. Mr. Brodie assures mo i that it works without fail. That after ' a while the creature can scarcely be ! driven over a bar after it is let down to jto the ground.— [ Wnwrly Kc/iubliain. ' m. 34 iiMtLL Hires. Think twice before speaking evil of an; one. When is a wall like a fish ? When it is sealed. Ilow docs a store feci when full of coals ? Grateful. Which of the reptiles is a mathema tician ? The adder. When is a boat like a heap of snow ' When it is a drift. A Vermont man has willed his picture gallery to a blind asylum. What is that which shows what it eou not sec itself 7 A mirror. He who threw* out- «uspiciou should ■-it once be hiuself. When is a 'wtgr wtffSi annoyed ' — When ho is out of patients. When is a literary work like smoke f When it comes in volumes. Why is the let tor G like the sun ' — Because it is the. contre of light. What word may be pronounced quicker by adding a syllable to it ? Quick. How does cow become a tanded es tate ? liy turniug her iuto the field. What is au old lady in the middle of the river like? Like to be drowned. Lemons may bejkept fresh a long time iri a jar—changing the water every morn ing- Why is a uiiser like a man with t» .-hon memory ! Because is always for getting. How does a sailor know there is a man in the moon ? Because he has been to sea (sec.) The Virginia Legislature is trying to get quarters in Norfolk, to get away from the small pox at ilichmond. Jones says that after trying for years to photograph his girl on his heart, ail he got in the end was a negative. A cynical old bachelor says that lover# are like armies ; they get along well enough till tlv« MgiLguiueat bcQia*. Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has many ; not on your past misfortunes, of which all have some. An ignorant old lady was asked by a minister visiting her, if she had religion. She replied, "1 have slight touches of it occasionally." It seems that competition has forced the price of false teeth down so low that it isn't really worth a body's while to cut his natural cues. ".My sou," said an old lady, "how must Juuah have felt when the whale swallowed him ?" "Down in the mouth," was the young hopeful's reply. A receipt for lemon pies vaguely adds : "Then sit on a stove and stir constant ly." .lust as if any body could sit on a stove witiiout stirring constantly.. Gen. Hausom has introduced a bill to authorize the erection at Ashcville aud, Greensboro of government buildings to. be used as ofliees and court rooms. Voltaire had his cynical dab at doctors when he spoke of a physician as'a man who pours drugs, of which ho knows little, into bodies of which ho knows less." "Mamma, do you know how I get in to my bed so quickly f" "No my dar linj. How do you ?" "Why, 1 put one foot on the bod, and then holler 'ltats !' mid scare myself right in." "Beacon," said the widow, as she gently stroked, in a feline manner, the uialtese tabby that evidently lay in her lap for that purpose, "r'.ou't you long for spring, with its balmy breath, its warm suushiue, and its gentle flowers, which awakens nature, and puts life into everything (hat has laid cold and dead during the long winter, and brings eve rything up out of the cold, cold grouud into light and lifo?" "Well, hardly, widow," responded the old deacon, "you know I buriod my second wife last Fall." In ordor to get on satisfactorily in the world, and be able to look at one's past deeds with complacency, it is necessary to havo a clear conscionoe. A t least so thought the Irishman in the following story : The priest said to him in tonea of severe reproof. "Patrick, how much hay did you steal ?" The reply was that of one who takes a profoundly phi, Insnphic view of tilings, and who pro poses not to allow his religion to too Be-, riously interfere with overy day duties, "Well," said Patrick, "I may as wall confess to your rivercnce for the wholq stack, for I'm going after the rest uiglit."
The Danbury Reporter (Danbury, N.C.)
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Feb. 16, 1882, edition 1
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